Hello Mafaka,
When friends and family began to say that something was wrong, I turned away. Yes, maybe you were broken, but we would make it together, you and me. I would be the one that fixed you, the one that finally made you understand what you’re worth. But that never happened – if so, this text would’ve never been written. Instead, an unsustainable and destructive relationship took place.
But now it’s no longer you and me. We are stronger then the desire for more. And it doesnt get better. I don’t miss you any less. I don’t think less of you. I haven’t stopped hoping. I still take detours to see you, to in any way make sure that you are okay. I think you are. But I’m not. Life in general is amazing,I have loads of fun going on,
Writing this is yet another try for me to heal. Just like you, I heal and deal with everything that happens to me by writing it down. All I want for now is to get my bleeding, open wound to turn into that scar. I’m standing at the very same place I did that night we said goodbye for the very last time, and I feel that it’s time to take care of this.
I still got so many unanswered questions, I’ve been analyzing everything we said and done, I still dream about you and is still hoping that you will turn up and acknowledge that everything was a mistake. But I’m smarter than that. One part of me knows that it never will happen. It isn’t my job to fix you.
I now realize that the instant moment I told myself that I would be the one fixing you…
"That is the moment I turned myself and my own worth down. You have to fix yourself. And when that day comes, when I see you with a woman that will have you in the way I wanted you, I will break one last time. And after that, it’s my turn to be happy."
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| Helipad's Lounge, Level 34, Menara KH, Kuala Lumpur 01/01/2014 00:01 AM |
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